Who would you be kissing in 2016?

To be precise, the question went more along these lines.. “How many boys did I kiss in 2015”? The question came at me right out of the blues and I knew there was a lesson to be learnt there somehow.. I also sort of decided it would make for a rousing article..

According to Wikipedia.. “A kiss is the touch or pressing of one’s lips against another person or an object. Cultural connotations of kissing vary widely. Depending on the culture and context, a kiss can express sentiments of love, passion, romance, sexual attraction, sexual activity, sexual arousal, affection, respect, greeting, friendship, peace and good luck, among many others. In some situations a kiss is a ritual, formal or symbolic gesture indicating devotion, respect, or sacrament“.

Going down memory lane, once again I tackled the question.Sadly, the answer was not super inspiring..I shall elaborate..

As a single thirty something(insert smiley) year old  lady living in Lagos.. Of course I met my share of men in 2015..  With a clear mind and a heart eager to settle in a healthy, loving relationship, one would along the lines inadvertently share a kiss or two .. I am super grateful it went no further than the kisses.. I am Celibate you see.. I made a celibacy vow a while ago.. This by no means makes me a saint.. It is actually for my sanity and permits me to live my life fully alinged with the Christian doctrines.

However, I shall share what I learnt from last years kisses.. and hope it inspires all.. and sort of sets us up for a really great 2016.

To be quite fair, a kiss is a fairly harmless exercise.. but most times, it can lead to a lot more than kissing and that could be quite disastrous, if it is with the wrong person. Moving on in 2016.. these are the thoughts I must have before I share a kiss with an individual..

1. You would have to think first..”Why am I kissing this person”?

Kisses happen at the most random moments.. but this question should help you decide whether to proceed or not .. I know they (kisses) can be quite spur of the moment.. but we have to have our thinking hats on regardless. Say for example we are about to kiss someone.. knowing exactly why we are kissing them would most certainly put things in perspective.

2.Do we share the same values? Does he/she complement you?

I can only speak for me.. I would most certainly not be sharing a kiss with someone with opposing values from those I share.. Did someone just say “it’s only a kiss”? No.. it is not!

3. Would I want to kiss him/her in 3 years ?

Yes.. think..would you want to kiss him/her in 3 years from that moment.

4. Does he respect me, do I know him/her well enough??

Mutual respect is key.. If he/she treats you in a dis-respectful manner.. then for the love of all that is dear.. why engage in a “lip-lock”?

5. Is he/she single?? Am I single??

This applies most especially for the married ones and those in committed relationships amongst us.. Yes..I know! Married men/women find themselves in compromising situations.. where they are attracted to someone who isn’t their partner.. Stopping just before the kiss and asking yourself all the questions above should hopefully put things in perspective and keep you safe.. and not further compromise your vows or relationships.

This year, I shall do my best to ask myself all these questions.. It may appear that I am over thinking the significance of kisses.. Statistics have proven though that women have gone further to engage in sexual acts with 85% of the men they kissed. That in itself proves that a kiss isn’t as innocent as it seems. So it should be a well thought out decision, no?

Another though that has niggled rather bitterly in my gut is.. how far should a kiss go before you are actually being lustful.. This question is for the single/celibate sisters/brothers in the house..There’s a thin line and it should be tread super cautiously.

This year, I shall be putting my kisses exactly where my head is.. `”IN THE RIGHT PLACE

Would adhering to all these questions serve as a fail safe recipe?? Maybe not…. but it shan’t  be for a lack of trying. In the meantime,  I shall be showering kisses on exactly the most deserving of them in my life right now.. my family ..

Ezinne and Mom: Mrs Clara Chinkata



I would love to hear from you!!

Please write in and share your thoughts and opinions..

Yours ever so honest..

Ezinne Chinkata

Happy New Year people!!!


  1. This post got me LOLing. I can totally relate with kisses going too far, Had such an experience recently, you see, I’ve been celibate 4 years, it’s very challenging and it hasn’t been without it’s… set backs. I find that it’s easier when the both of you are on the same page like is the case in recent my experience. He’s celibate too so we just help each other get through those… *clears throat*… set backs. But you’re right when you say “keep you kisses where you head is…” My two cents, don’t be too hard on yourself, don’t get to comfortable, and no matter the mistakes or setbacks, remember no one is perfect, even God knows this, Thankfully he’s merciful too, so by his grace we’ll always come through.
    This is quite refreshing Ezinne.

  2. I love how honest you are Zinkata. And thanks a bunch I guess I needed this write up cos there’s someone I like so much and you know… sometimes a kiss may make you forget the qualities you actually want in a man. Thanks again Ezinne. Now I can focus on what really matters.

  3. Nkolika Oputa Reply

    Hi Ezinne, nice article and good you are celibate (for the right reasons). People tend to have ‘disorders’ with the many partners they garner in their lives (some call it dating). And i believe it is good to keep yourself for yourself (and God) and not necessarily for any man (or woman). On another note, I like your fashion sense. Keep at it and soar higher!!! cheers.

    • Dear Nkolika.. Thanks for stopping by, your kind words and for relating with the article.. Have an awesome 2016.. and please stop by again very soon!…

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