Jul 13, 2015 | Inspirational

A very dear friend lost her husband 10 years ago. Her little girl was 6 months old when he passed…It was the memorial service this weekend and the now 10 year old wrote and read a really  inspiring letter to her dad during the service..

A truly profound message: Please read.


Dear daddy,


All my life, everyone has told me how you were…what you did, how you did it, what you liked, what you didn’t like……they tell me that you were this way and that you were that way… They tell me that you were a good man …


But daddy, between you and I, we know that each of them knew you in different ways…as brother, son, friend, colleague, husband….and while their stories of you help me learn what kind of brother, son, friend, colleague, husband you were, and while the stuff that mummy has left of you in that suitcase shows me bits of who you were… ,no one can tell me what kind of father you would have been. Because none of them could ever have known you as I would have, because you were my daddy and no one else’s.


No one really knows you the way that I would have. No one really knows the special bond that we would have shared…no one really knows what type of daddy that you would have been…because you left too soon for anyone to really find out.


But you know what, Daddy? I think in many ways, it is nicer this way. Because I have all the freedom to dream…and imagine what you would have been like, and what we would have been like together. So I imagine that you would have never scolded me. I imagine that you would have given me everything that I could have ever wanted. I imagine afternoons with you at Ikoyi Club and Chinese restaurants. I imagine that we would have had long conversations on your way to drop me off at school. I imagine birthday parties and holidays and Christmases. I imagine that we would have read loads of books together (right now I’m reading Lemony Snicket’s and I imagine that you would have loved them too). I imagine that you would have been the perfect daddy.


In many ways, it is nicer this way – that you belonged to all these people who loved you in different ways but have to share their knowledge of you as brother, son, friend, colleague, husband, but I will never have to share. You belong completely to me. You are my daddy, mine, and no one else can ever know what that would have been like, no one but me in my imaginings. ..and in all my imaginings we are happy, I am happy.


I drew strength from this letter.. Her acceptance and depth of knowledge left me truly emotional and humbled..

May we live a thankful existence.. Seeing the positive side  in every situation..



Ezinne Chinkata

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